At the start of this year I told myself that I would stop putting pressure on myself to write blog posts and social media posts just because I thought that was what was expected of me. That I would no longer play the numbers game. That I would write for me and me alone. And yet here I am sat in front of my laptop freaking out because I’ve started this whole weekly brain dump thing and I’m only on week 3 and I’ve run out of things to say. I’m worried that if I don’t post something I’ll look like a failure. That I’ll be letting people down. I’ll be letting myself down. Welcome to the inner workings of my mind.
I’ve already spent half an hour writing something down in a notebook before opening my laptop. Some thoughts about the ideal body, the objectification of women, and how I was fed up with seeing the word strong everywhere at the moment. Strong body, strong mind, strong bloody everything. My intention was to type it all up, tweaking it a little here and there, adding a few humorous anecdotes, a few sweary bits.. you know the deal by now. Anyway, I read it back and felt immediately disheartened. It wasn’t getting my point across in the slightest. It was waffle, pure and utter waffle. And this is a serious subject, how dare I treat it with such disdain. And all for the single purpose of getting a blog post done.
Stay True To You
Way back when I was studying English Literature for A Level, I was introduced to James Joyce and the concept of stream of consciousness writing. I loved the idea of it – that you could put pen to paper and just write whatever came out. It didn’t matter that it didn’t make sense. What mattered was that this was real. This was showcasing the raw, authentic, inner workings of the mind, something that really resonated with me. The book we studied at school was A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, not a particularly interesting book from what I recall, but I was intrigued by the way he wrote and consequently bought a copy of his hardest and lengthiest book Ulysses. To this day that book remains unread on my bookcase. It’s daunting. An absolutely hefty wedge of a book and a difficult read. However, I’m a determined, some might say stubborn, so and so who fully intends to make it through that book before I die. Plus, not gonna lie I’ve always thought it kind of ups my intelligence status, by owning and displaying such a book. Not that anyone ever comes round and inspects my bookshelves, but I mean we’ve all got one book like that, haven’t we!?!
I may not have read the book (yet!) but its presence on my shelf and the style of writing and ideas contained within it helps to remind me of the endless possibilities of my potential. That creativity can be and is quite often found in seemingly mundane witterings. We just need to let those ideas keep flowing out before we can begin to make sense of them.
Which is what this is.
This is not me forcing words onto a page. This is me writing from the heart. Letting the words flow freely from my mind, through my fingers, and onto the screen. Not quite on a par with Joyce – hopefully you’re understood me better – but a much more natural, authentic style of writing that it has always been my intention to create.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s brain dump.
In the meantime, if you wanna get in touch, it’s probs best to head on over to one of my socials.
Facebook – @thisishealthyliving
Twitter – @ArtHealthLiving
Instagram – @arthealthyliving
Or leave me a comment below.
Come back next week for another brain dump!
Becky Stafferton is a content creator, full time procrastinator and mum of 2 kids and 1 aggy cockapoo. She tries to promote a realistic, sustainable and positive image of how to lead a healthy life, whilst also maintaining the fact that life ain’t all fluffy clouds and rainbows. When she’s not writing or sitting on her arse scrolling through social media, she can be found running through muddy puddles, making lists of lists, having a good old moan, doing random Google searches and squatting like her life depends on it.