As I mentioned in last week’s teenage diary I got a bit hit and miss with the old diary writing and so we jump forward, past the blank pages, right through to the end of November, and it’s the eve of my 16th birthday. Enjoy!
Thursday 24th November
I know I haven’t written anything for ages, but I thought this would be a good time to restart seeing as it’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m not making a total commitment though. I’ve decided to only write when anything significant has happened, because sometimes I have days where nothing interesting ever happens. So I see no point in writing down a load of crap.
Friday 25th November
My 16th birthday. What a day to remember! Tonight I met Les at the bus stop because a whole load of us were going down the pub. Well a few of us went in and then we went to Timothy’s. They’d organised a surprise party for me. It was really sweet, they’d decorated the place and made me a cake with candles. OK so I did get drunk, but surely I was entitled to seeing as it was my birthday. Les got drunk as well so as you can imagine we were all over one another. He had his hands down my pants and I had my hand down his. As you can imagine, we were both feeling each other a lot. I never lost my virginity though and I’m quite proud of that even though I am now the legal age. Denise, Claudia, Sheila and Mary flared me, it was really funny, apart from the stuff in my eye. Tommy bought me a teddy bear, it was so sweet.
Wednesday 7th December
Went round Terence’s house and Terence gave Les some drink. Obviously he got drunk and he was threatening to kill himself. it was really scaring me. When he went to walk me home, I told him to go back because he was in no fit state. I later got phoned up by Denise asking what was going on. Les came on and said goodbye because he was going to kill himself. I hung up and he later phoned back to apologise. I can’t be doing with this. He’s so possessive. What am I going to do if I choose to dump him.
Thursday 8th December
I split up with Les today. It was hard but I had to after last night. He was crying and he gave me my ring back. So much for him saying he’d keep it even if we split up. I went round Sheila’s and cried my eyes out. Even though I think it’s for the best I’m really upset about it. Apparently he went round to Claudia’s house crying, he wanted some pictures from the party. I’m a bit annoyed about that, but I suppose he just wants a memory. All I’ve got of him is a really grotty picture, the rabbit and the necklace.
Monday 12th December
I’ve slashed my wrists. I really don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m just so depressed. Maybe I’ve still got feelings for Les, I don’t know. I think it’s a mixture of exam stress and feeling really lonely. I went round to Sheila’s and just completely broke down. She had a really long talk and reckons I should get counseling. I really don’t think it’s that bad. It just felt really good to be able to talk to someone. I find it hard to talk to people and then it never comes out right.
Friday 16th December
I found out today that Denise is now going out with Les. You wouldn’t believe how cut up about it I am. It’s not that I still fancy Les, it’s just that I feel so lonely and that no one wants me around any more. I’ve cut my wrists again, this time worse. I couldn’t stop the bleeding, so I bandaged it. I went to youth club and had to face Les and Denise. Denise reckons I’m not talking to her. I want to though, it’s just I feel so uncomfortable. I got home and cried myself to sleep.
Saturday 17th December
I found out today that Terence fancies me. Les phoned me up to ask me out for him. I said I’d think about it, but to get him to phone me. He phoned me and I told him I’d think about it if he got it straight with Petunia first, because she still likes him. Les phoned again later to see if I’d made my mind up. I said I’d meet Terence at the bus stop at 7.45 and I’d tell him then. I met him there and he told me he’d settled it with Petunia. I told him I’d go out with him if I wasn’t just another one on his list and that I didn’t want to be treated like shit. He agreed. So I’m gong out with him. He came round with Denise and Les whilst we were babysitting. They stayed about 2 hours then he kissed me goodnight. I really hope he treats me right.
Tuesday 20th December
Terence wasn’t at the bus stop. Les told me that he had to leave early so wasn’t able to wait for me. I was quite upset about that actually because I’d been looking forward to seeing him all day.
Wednesday 21st December
I went and had my ear pierced down the bottom again. It looks well smart. It hurt like hell though. What made it worse was that he told me just before he was going to do it so I knew it was coming. Terence phoned and all his mates were there. He kept putting them on to say hi to me, it was well embarrassing. I swear they were taking the piss.
Thursday 22nd December
Terence phoned and I think 2 of his mates were there. I spoke to one of them, I can’t remember who it was. Anyway, I went back to speaking to Terence and I heard him say in the background, “she sounds very fuckable, I’d give her 5 minutes of my time” And Terence said, “I’d give her 5 hours.” He’s so sweet. I’m glad I’ve seemed to make an impression on his mates, I’m glad I haven’t given him a photo yet, I swear they wouldn’t like me if they could see me.
Friday 23rd December
I phoned Terence and he seemed really quiet. I think it was because he was at home and he didn’t want anyone else hearing him being soft over the phone. I prefer it when he phones and his mates are there because then the conversation never dies.
Saturday 24th December
Terence phoned, this time his mates were there. In fact I started talking to Stuzi thinking it was him. I can’t tell the difference. I had quite a good chat with Stuzi, I’ve got on his good side by liking Blur. He reckons he’s fallen in love with Sheila just from her voice and wants to write to her. Rowley wants to write to Claudia. What am I, a dating agency? Went over to Sheila’s and had a lager with Claudia and Timothy. Let’s just say Claudia was jolly. You could tell Timothy didn’t really want to be there. Me and him were playing with Josse and calling him Damian.
Sunday 25th December
Xmas pressies so far:
- Navy blue jeans
- Tape deck and radio
- Silver cross necklace
- Black leather bag
- Denim blue boxers
- Mini Exclamation
- Cuddly reindeer
- Gift vouchers for Topshop and Miss Selfridge
- REM album
Les phoned me to wish me a happy Christmas. It was a real surprise but I actually had a really good chat with him. He’s really easy to get along with. Then later he phoned me up to rub it in that East 17 were number 1. I’m starting to worry that he might like me again. Twice in one day.
Wednesday 28th December
Stayed round Sheila’s the night and she phoned Gulliver up from the phone box, so I decided to phone Terence, as a surprise. He’s never very talkative on the phone and I wouldn’t say I am really but I have to be if he’s on the phone because he only really answers my questions, he doesn’t start a conversation up himself. I don’t like it when he doesn’t talk much because I feel like he doesn’t like me any more and that he’s hiding something from me. Sheila’s going up to stay with Gulliver on Friday. I wish I was going to see Terence. Oh well I suppose he’ll be back soon – I hope.
Thursday 29th December
I went shopping with Sheila today and spent about fifty five pounds. I bought a pair of knee high boots for thirty pounds, a real bargain, a cream sparkly short sleeved top, and a short black satin skirt. The skirt’s really nice, but it doesn’t fit me too good. It’s too big round the waist yet tight round the bum so it wrinkles at the top. I had to buy it though because it’s gorgeous. It looks alright if I tug it about a bit and get it into shape. I’m missing Terence so much that I was thinking about him and couldn’t get to sleep.
Friday 30th December
I’m missing Terence so much. From since I’ve been going out with him I’ve only seen him three times, but that’s enough for me to feel that we’ve got something special. Some of the things he does is just so cute and individual. The way he says sorry like a little child is so sweet it brings tears to my eyes. I can’t wait for hm to come home, whenever that is. It all depends when his dad goes and picks him up. He told me his mum had invited me to go and stay with them one weekend. I’d really like that but whether Mum and Dad would let me is another matter. It would be just like them if they didn’t. Typical.
Waaaaaah and just like that my 1994 teenage diary is over!!!! It’s certainly been a rollercoaster ride, and bought back both some good and bad memories. We certainly learn from our mistakes, right?!? I really hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have, I have absolutely loved sharing it with you all, even though a little piece of me has died with embarrassment every time I hit the publish button!
Remember I still have my December 1993 extracts to share, which will be published at the beginning of December so keep an eye out for that.
But for now, it’s over and out from teenage me x
*names have been changed to protect the not so innocent
Did you miss last week’s 1994 Teenage Diary?
If so why not head on over and have a read – https://artofhealthyliving.com/extracts-from-my-teenage-diary-29th-october-4th-november-1994/
Love my 1994 Teenage Diary?
Then check out my month by month 1993 Diary!
You can read November here – https://artofhealthyliving.com/my-monthly-teenage-diary-november-1993/
Becky Stafferton is a full time blogger over on her website The Art of Healthy Living, mum of 2 and certified Queen of the hashtags. She continually strives to promote a realistic, sustainable and positive image of how to lead a healthy life. When she’s not writing she can be found swigging Prosecco from the bottle, running through muddy puddles, making lists of lists, having a good old moan, scoffing flapjacks and squatting like her life depends on it.
She can be found on:
Facebook – @thisishealthyliving
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