I’m sat here reflecting on the events of the past week. I do that a lot – reflecting. It can at times be quite pleasant, a nice replay of the good stuff. But other times it can encourage my bad habits – overthinking overanalysing, overwhelm. Hence the title of this post. Because I do wonder a lot, it’s the affliction of a wandering mind. I wonder about what might have been, what I could have done better, what people might say, what I would say to people if I opened up in person as much as I do when I write.
When I’m feeling positive I like to think that this wonderment aids my creativity, it brings out the wackiness in me, the ability to look beyond the norm, to encourage me to question and notice everything. And I LOVE that about me. When I’m feeling negative however, I realise the hinderance it brings. How it holds me back from being my true self, how it limits my self-belief, chokes my self acceptance, and restricts my rationality.
What I have learnt throughout this journey of trying to figure out what the hell my mind is all about, is that it is so important for me to keep writing. It is literally my saviour. If in doubt, write it out is my new motto. Bit wanky I know, but whatever works I say!
So yeah, that’s the deep stuff out of the way. I get that these brain dumps, wandering mind witterings, vacuous thought vomits, whatever you want to call them are for the most part self-indulgent. I get that hardly anyone is going to read them, let alone stick around for another instalment. And that’s fine. These are for me. My therapy. My outlet. My way of coping. If you are enjoying them though, hey there, hi. Thank you. You’re my people xx
Anyway, moving on, what’s been going on over the past week…
Covid Finally Got Us
Well, I say ‘us’, it got one of us. My son. Not entirely sure how the rest of us avoided it. We didn’t make him isolate away from the rest of us, although to be fair he is a teenager, he pretty much chooses to lead the isolation lifestyle on the daily. I can only think that myself and the husband dodged it from being triple vaxxed, cos I totally still got my bedtime head kiss and cuddle in and I vaguely remember being burped at in the face at some point (pleasant I know!) so those covidy germs had plenty of opportunities to spread. But they didn’t. And my daughter, who’s 11, so still no jabs, and to the best of our knowledge still hasn’t had covid, also managed to avoid it. Go figure. Thankfully my son was fine. One day of feeling headachy and a temperature and that was it. What then followed was a week of empty kitchen cupboards (apparently covid makes you more hungry – ummm yeah right son), very little home schooling (if the work’s not there what can ya do?), and a LOT of Xboxing (what else can an isolating teenage boy do… OK, maybe don’t answer that one!!!)
Sounds bad I know, but I was kinda hoping we might all get it so that we could get it out of the way in time for holiday season, just as a kind of extra safety net if you like. I heard on the radio that apparently there’s some events company in Italy I think it was that’s offering covid dinner parties, where you can book to wine and dine with someone who has covid. Actually paying to get covid. Now, that’s bad!
The hormones in this house are high at the moment. We’ve got perimenopausal me, desperately slathering on the HRT, and trying to sort her monthly shit out. Then there’s my pubescent daughter who’s not quite there with the periods yet, but my god they must be imminent I’m sure of it. And what that means, is lots of outbursts, lots of tears, and a tonne of moods. I would say I feel sorry for the boys… but I don’t. They don’t have to go through any of this shite, so zero sympathy from me.
The poor love has been proper struggling with her emotions of late and the fact that she can’t explain why she’s feeling the way she is – kinda sad and unmotivated and just a bit down. I mean, I hear ya girl, welcome to womanhood! Of course, I was a lot more subtle than that when we had a chat. Full of understanding, lots of cuddles, and some wise reassuring words that it’s perfectly normal to feel like that and that I totally got it, and she can always come to me for a chat etc. etc. It was nice. We’re in a lovely place at the mo, me and my daughter. We talk about everything and she’s very open with me, which I love. I really hope it continues. And perhaps when her period does actually start, it won’t be too long before we fall in synch with one another so at least 3 out of 4 weeks every month our house will be relatively agg free. Well, one can hope, right!?!?
And To End… Something To Make You Smile
And it does indeed involve a smile. I was out walking the dog the other morning. I’m always very considerate of other people when I’m out with the dog. It’s usually me that moves out of the way, especially if there are kids, or there’s more than one person, I dunno it just seems like the right thing to do. I’m polite like that. Anyway, I see this man up ahead and start to walk out into the road so that he can stay on the pavement. It was only as I got closer that I realised he was blind – he was wearing black sunglasses and had a white stick. As I passed him, rather than say ‘morning’, or ‘thanks’ (not that I needed to of course, because it was me that moved out of the way, but well I’m typically British, that’s what we do, right!?!) I smiled. Didn’t utter a bloody word, which must have freaked the poor man out, cos he clearly knew I was there, from my huffing and puffing (it was up hill) and the dog brushing past him. But no. The dickhead that I am. I smiled. Twat. Anyway, I saw him again this morning and I made sure to say morning this time round, which made me feel heaps better!
I hope you enjoyed this week’s wonderings from my ever wandering mind.
In the meantime, if you wanna get in touch, it’s probs best to head on over to one of my socials.
Facebook – @thisishealthyliving
Twitter – @ArtHealthLiving
Instagram – @arthealthyliving
Or leave me a comment below.
Come back next week for more thoughts from a wandering mind!
Becky Stafferton is a content creator, full time procrastinator and mum of 2 kids and 1 aggy cockapoo. She tries to promote a realistic, sustainable and positive image of how to lead a healthy life, whilst also maintaining the fact that life ain’t all fluffy clouds and rainbows. When she’s not writing or sitting on her arse scrolling through social media, she can be found running through muddy puddles, making lists of lists, having a good old moan, doing random Google searches and squatting like her life depends on it.