Is My Partner Having An Emotional Affair?

While many people understand the impact of cheating in a relationship, people often envision a sexual encounter with a stranger when they imagine an affair. Although a physical affair is common, they normally don’t add up to more than physical contact.

An emotional affair is a little more complex than physical intimacy. Emotional affairs are an attachment to someone else outside of the relationship. It may or may not include physical intimacy, but the driving force behind the affair is an excessive level of emotional connection. This level of emotional involvement will typically replace a couples’ intimacy, creating distance and loneliness between them.

If you suspect your partner is having an emotional affair, it may be wise to check things further. Here are some notable signs your partner may be connected to someone else.

Previous Red Flags

The saying that history repeats itself is very true, especially when it comes to people and relationships. If you’ve had a partner that previously made bad decisions, you may want to look at running a background check. Websites like can help pull up history you don’t know of, which can give a bigger picture of what’s happening in your relationship now.

It Just Doesn’t Feel Right

An emotional affair requires a lot of time, effort, and connection. If things are starting to feel off or strange between you and your spouse, it may be because they’re splitting their time between two people. If you’ve always spent the evenings talking on the front porch or connecting at the park and suddenly that seems to have disappeared, your partner may be disengaging from you for another person.

Increasing Secrecy

If you’ve always shared everything and now their phone is like Fort Knox, there’s a good chance they’re trying to hide something. Added security measures like fingerprints, passwords, or codes can be a good indication that they don’t want you to see who they’ve been contacting.

This is also true for social media and other communication apps. If they used to be open with their profiles and have recently made it a habit to log out of the account, they may be hiding an emotional affair.

Increased Distance Between You Both

Talking is about give and take; you both must want to do it for it to work. If you try to ask about their day and get simple, basic answers, they may be chatting with someone else. This is particularly true if there’s a highly stressful event that occurs. For example, if you know your partner has a huge sales pitch on Friday but they don’t talk to you about how it went, they may be sharing that information with someone else.

Change In Their Behavior

Moody, grumpy, or irritable behaviors can be completely normal on occasion, but if it seems like nothing you do ever makes them happy, they may be struggling to stay connected to you. If they’re normally passive and now seem overly aggressive when you remind them to take out the garbage, a disconnect between the two of you may be developing. If this started randomly, an emotional affair could be the culprit.

A Sudden Change In Appearance

While trying to improve hygiene and self-esteem is never a bad thing, a sudden change in appearance isn’t always a good thing. If your partner is suddenly wearing makeup, trying to lose weight, or dressing in a way that isn’t their typical style, they may be aiming to please someone else. This is especially true if these newly found grooming habits started suddenly or out of the blue.

While a physical affair involves tangible intimacy between two people, an emotional affair is often harder to prove. Having friendships is important for our emotional wellbeing, particularly if we’re experiencing a lot of stress or upheaval. The issue with an emotional affair is not with these connections, but the influence it has on your current romantic relationship.

If your intimate relationship is struggling on an intimate level (whether you believe your connection is fading or small changes are happening over time), you may question whether your partner is having an affair. Although there is no physical indiscretion between the two, the connection formed can put your relationship at risk if not addressed promptly.

*collaborative post

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