No matter how you look at it, divorce is a painful and stressful thing. Even the most independent women find themselves shocked by all the newfound freedom and responsibilities after their separation, and when you add sadness and stress to that, you can get a very toxic soup of issues. So how can women achieve smooth divorce and start over after their breakup?
Do Your Research
Before or shortly after you make your moves toward the divorce, make sure to read upon the subject and learn many tricks and tips. The more you know, the better your moves and decisions can be in the future. It’s possible to find great tips online or from books about divorce. You can find out everything about your rights, how to find a good lawyer, how to pay for fees and how to get everything that you deserve from a divorce.
Think Twice Before You Sign Anything
Divorce is an ugly battle, and emotions can run high even during consensual processes. If you’re angry, that’s understandable, but don’t write your soon-to-be-ex an angry letter or post about your struggles online—this won’t do you any good. The best way to end things with your ex and continue with your life is to stay on good terms. Only one bad move can draw out your divorce, keep you in the past and prevent you from starting over, which is something you don’t want to waste your time on.
Achieve Financial Stability
Divorce is not something that happens overnight, so make sure to prepare for it by opening bank accounts in your name and examining your financial situation. Copy and study financial statements, taxes and other documents to make sure everything is in order. If that’s not the case, ask for easy and quick professional help.
Ideally, you want to have some funds in your name before you file for divorce, but if that’s impossible, you should hurry up and start saving once you separate. First, you might want to look at your expenses and cut unnecessary expenses like junk insurance fees. If you’ve been paying for junk insurance, you might even be eligible for a refund that will come in very handy as you get back on your own two feet. It’s important to reconsider your shopping habits and minimize ways that you can fall into debt.
Go Through The Grieving Period
Divorce is strangely similar to death—it’s the end of your previous life. So, naturally, you can mourn your old life and lifestyle and be sad even if you initiated the split. Divorce leaves a hole that once contained order, routine and safety, and you have every right to lie in bed, drink wine and eat ice cream. But don’t let this grieving period last too long and turn into depression.
Seek Professional Help
It’s great to rely on friends to listen to your complaints and seek support, but if you truly want to kick-start your life and start anew, a therapist can be much more helpful. Divorce is a long process and it makes it hard to be motivated about life, but professional advice can offer you many great ideas and insights.
Get To Know Yourself All Over Again
When you’re married, it’s very easy to go from ‘me’ to ‘us’ in every situation. Losing yourself in a relationship is something that can happen to anyone. But after divorce, there’s no more ‘us’ and you need to consciously reconnect with your individuality. How are you now? What is it that you like about yourself? What are your unique qualities and what is it that you can do as a free woman that you’ve missed as a wife? All of these questions will introduce a new chapter to your life.
Divorce usually leaves you with a cracked ego, but flattering attention from suitors can fix it right up. Dating not only helps you find your one true love but also widens your friend circle. If you’re worried it might be too early to start dating again, go on one rendezvous and see how it feels. If it feels good, it’s not too early. And finding someone to go out with is very easy today and you can ask friends for fix-ups, look online or make an organic connection in a bar. And remember, you don’t have to take dating super seriously—just have fun.
Divorce is something that has a horrible reputation, but it doesn’t have to be all bad. If you follow these tips above, you can feel safe, free to grieve and ready to rebuild your life.
Diana Smith is a full time mom of two beautiful girls interested in business and marketing related topics.
In her free time she enjoys exercising and preparing healthy meals for her family.