Dear Teenage Diary,
What a state my life is in at the moment. I don’t know how to explain it other than I’m happy yet completely depressed at the same time. There are two major problems. Number one being my mother. Ever since she got in a piss about picking me up from Jono’s house she hasn’t spoken to me. On the day of my results she didn’t even ask how I’d done and I still haven’t told her, though I expect Dad has by now. I’m not backing down on this one. I don’t even know what I’ve done, it’s just her being petty, but not speaking to me, especially on results day is just unforgivable. Sheila’s family congratulated me more than my family so that shows you something. I mean getting nine A’s and one A+ isn’t a common experience, but she just couldn’t give a shit. Dad was pleased for me, but even he was more interested in what A had done at Winchester. Great, I mean these are only my GCSEs folks. Anyway, I’m going to be in the newspaper, which is also another first. I guess I should be proud, but it’s not asking a lot for others to be proud of me too!
The other problem, which will come as no surprise, is Kenneth. I thought things were just starting to get back to normal again. I mean OK it wasn’t like it used to be, but it was OK, but Friday at Diggers seemed to be a really big piss take. Ever since the accident it’s always been me who’s made the effort in the relationship. It was me who went and saw him and never once has he phoned me, it was always me who had to bother. Well, we arrived in Chippenham and Kenneth was at the bus station with Tubbs and Alistair Foster. He said hi to me and everything, but straight away he was like being off with me. We all queued up together but then something happened – a car crashed or something – so he went to look what it was and then queued somewhere else. His friends eventually followed him, so me, Timothy and Sheila were left on our own. We eventually got in at 10pm and Kenneth was just inside the entrance with Alistair so we went over to them and Kenneth gave me a fag. He drifted away again, but I didn’t follow him because we had to wait for Twigs, Cuthbert, Tommy, Jono and the others to get in. When they did, we went into the main bit and were almost immediately straight on the dance floor.
After a while, Sheila went to get a drink, so I went with her. Then I saw Kenneth, so I went over to him and he waited a minute before indicating he was going to fill his bottle with water from the loos, so I went back to Sheila and we found the others and stayed and talked for a while. It wasn’t long before I bumped into Kenneth again and I asked him whether he wanted to go down to the front and dance, because by now they’d got the soapy foam gun out and it was just manic. He actually said yes this time, but brought Midge along with us. All of us were soon totally covered in foam so Kenneth took his hat off and he put it on my head (I wore it for the rest of the night). He got totally covered and he had no shirt on. Phwoargh! He soon drifted again so I went and found Cuthbert and Sheila who couldn’t find any of the others. We went to the loos and Cuthbert waited for us. He still fancies me and apparently kept asking Sheila where I was all the time. I was with my boyfriend. We raved for ages, but then I got knackered so we went to buy some water. After I found Kenneth again and sat down next to him for a while. Some guy introduced himself to me because he was one of the Malmesbury crew and he was here with his girlfriend. Kenneth again soon went away, so I stayed there about 15 minutes later and then Sheila walked past so I went with her to dance again. On the way I passed Kenneth and asked him if he was coming up front. He said no, so then I asked why he was being so off with me and he sort of said something but I couldn’t hear him, so I walked away.
We then raved non stop for about two and a half hours getting totally soaked by soap, but it was fun. I swear some guy behind me was trying it on with me, because we had a sort of bubble fight then a little while later he tapped me on the back and I turned round and he kind of pouted as though he wanted me to kiss him. I just turned back again because I was too scared. We left about 2am, which was when it ended. I was absolutely soaked through and feeling really grotty and cold. I got outside and Kenneth was stood by a car with Alistair. I heard Alistair say there she is and I guessed Kenneth wanted his hat back, so I just took it off and flung it at him without even looking at him and went to Sheila’s car. I found out from Sheila later that he watched me walk away with a shocked blank expression on so I’m so glad I had some effect. I’ve decided I’m going to wait until he phones me because I’m fed up of being the one who has to make all the effort. I can’t give in, because this may be the time when we decide if it’s a good idea to stay together. I need to know how he’s feeling. If he does eventually phone it will be to finish it or to apologise and speak. All I know is I’m not going to be made a fool of – oh no!
*All names have been changed from those in my monthly teenage diary to protect the not so innocent.
Remember to come back tomorrow for the next installment of my 1995 teenage diary.
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Becky Stafferton is a full time blogger over on her website The Art of Healthy Living, mum of 2 and certified Queen of the hashtags. She continually strives to promote a realistic, sustainable and positive image of how to lead a healthy life. When she’s not writing or reading her teenage diary she can be found swigging Prosecco from the bottle, running through muddy puddles, making lists of lists, having a good old moan, scoffing flapjacks and squatting like her life depends on it.