I am literally sat here in shock as I type out this week’s teenage diary. I want to grab hold of my teenage self and knock ten tonnes of sense into her whilst screaming “don’t you ever dare apologise for something like that. EVER!” When I look back I can kind of remember the ‘key’ debacle, but nowhere near as bad as when I read it back now. It’s inexcusable and it makes me really cross that I a) let it happen and b) was made to somehow feel guilty about it. I mean what the actual fuck. I’m fine by the way, it hasn’t mentally scarred me or anything and thankfully my taste in boys/men has improved significantly since then. Be prepared to get really fucking angry about this week’s teenage diary…
Saturday 8th October
BIG BASH BIRMINGHAM NEC. First disappointment was that PJ and Duncan weren’t there. Mind you it was made up when we saw Let Loose. Phwoar is the drummer Lee something. Best of all though is that we queued up and got all their autographs and got kisses off the all. Ritchie kisses the best but Lee is definitely the best looking. I found out from Sheila that yesterday in the bed when they were at Timothy’s she was the completely innocent one whereas Claudia was being touched up by Gary and she had her hand down his trousers and was giving him a bit of a grope around.
Sunday 9th October
Met Sheila’s cousins today and they are just the coolest. Maxwell is really lush but there’s absolutely no way he’d find me attractive let alone go out with me. Well he still showed us his underpants, from Armani no less, and I won’t be forgetting that in a hurry I tell you. Percy, Raymond and Timothy called round so we got Claudia and Denise out. Raymond fancies Sheila so much and even though she likes him she hasn’t said that she definitely fancies him, but if she doesn’t she’s doing a very horrible job of leading him on. Percy is finally treating me as normal again, it’s great.
Monday 10th October
Raymond and Percy came home on our bus. Percy sat next to me and was generally annoying me, but in a sweet way. We all went round Sheila’s and Percy was his usual self, sprawled all over me. But then they went, but Percy left his keys. He came back for them, but me and Sheila thought it would be funny to tease him with them. Anyway we ended up at the bus stop with them, us still with the keys. But things started to get really heavy, because they got angry ‘cos we wouldn’t give them back, so they started groping us. Percy had his had up my top and Raymond tried to get my trousers off. They’re gits.
Tuesday 11th October
I’m so scared to face Raymond and Percy today. It was bad enough what they did last night, it was really sleazy and made me feel so dirty, but worst of all is that when I gave them back Percy didn’t pick them up. Les, Archibald and Dilbert found them, Well they slashed the cap and bent the keys. Sheila told Percy and she said we’d pay for them, but he just laughed. What a total bastard. I’m ignoring him now and doesn’t he know it. I won’t even look at him. We’ve decided not to pay him any more because he’s got a spare set of keys and he was going to buy a new cap.
Wednesday 12th October
Percy apologised today in lunch. I’d ignored him that morning, but he came over when I was with Claudia and said sorry. But I know full well he didn’t mean it, it’s just that Sheila told him to. What pisses me off the most is that he thinks I should just forgive and forget. Well I’m sorry but you just can’t forget being groped just to get a set of keys back. I think he thinks I fancy him, which I suppose is partly true, but I feel like he’s making a mockery of me all the time and I don’t like it one little bit. Anyway, I think he fancies Bernadette. Perfect match. Both bitchy gits.
Thursday 13th October
I realised that I’d been a bit snotty when Percy apologised. I suppose he deserved it, but I did treat him a bit bad. When I got home from school I had a bit of a guilt trip so I phoned him up to apologise. He seemed alright about it I guess. I just explained to him that I felt guilty and that I was sorry. I find it really hard to talk to him over the phone because he is so non-committal. He just waits for you to say something and if I don’t he just keeps quiet so it’s really awkward.
Friday 14th October
I know this may sound sad, but me, Sheila and Sally went to youth club. We saw Les, Archibald and Dilbert waiting at the bus stop so I plucked up the courage to ask them about Percy’s hat and I’m really glad because they gave us £2.50 each to help pay for it. I guess they’re alright. We went to youth club with them and they seem alright. Sheila fancies Archibald and he fancies her. I don’t know how she can like him personally, he’s so damn crude. Les was in a bit of a mood. I don’t know, maybe it’s because we were giving Archibald all our attention and not him.
*names have been changed to protect the not so innocent
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Becky Stafferton is a full time blogger over on her website The Art of Healthy Living, mum of 2 and certified Queen of the hashtags. She continually strives to promote a realistic, sustainable and positive image of how to lead a healthy life. When she’s not writing she can be found swigging Prosecco from the bottle, running through muddy puddles, making lists of lists, having a good old moan, scoffing flapjacks and squatting like her life depends on it.
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