After the cliffhanger that I left you with in last month’s teenage diary I bet you’ve been absolutely beside yourselves with worry about poor old Truffle the guineapig haven’t you? Well, worry no more because you can find out right now!
I must warn you that this is the last episode of my 1992 teenage diary. Yeah, yeah I know so I only managed 3 months, but hey I was a complete diary novice back in the early days. But the good news is I did spill into April by a couple of days so I’ve whacked them in at the end for you as a little bonus.
If you’ve read my 1995 teenage diary you’ll know that this 1992 version by comparison is tame, very tame, but hopefully it gives you a sense of how this all started.
As usual I’ll be adding my own modern down witty commentary, so look out for the bits in bold.
Sunday 1st March
Truffle didn’t die. It’s a miracle. (Thank fuck for that, but seriously we had to wait all month for that!)
Monday 2nd March
Had to go back to school today. Claudia came round. Kim’s got my book and not in very good condition (Oh jeez not the book thing again!) Arabella’s really sticking up to the cow. PE tomorrow.
Tuesday 3rd March
Truffle is bad again. I told Mum to keep him inside, but she didn’t listen. I leapfrogged over the box in gym and my group clapped. (There seems to be a recurrent theme here… that whenever my pets get sick I do really well in gym class!)
Wednesday 4th March
I cooked in H.E. (Yeah, um that’s kinda the whole point of H.E.) today and it turned out quite good. Mrs Thornton told me that I was slim and that really cheered me up (A teacher remarking on body size, so wouldn’t get away with that these days, is it any wonder I was so concerned about my body when I was younger!)
Thursday 5th March
Truffle is even worse and if he lives until Saturday we’re taking him to the vets. I took my trolls to school and they were a great success (Remember trolls? Mine had pink hair and were a bride and groom – I thought they were proper spesh! Why I felt the need to take them into secondary school christ only knows, but it’s alright cos they were a great success, whatever the fuck that means!)
Friday 6th March
Claudia asked me to go to youth club so I told her I didn’t feel well. It’s not that I don’t like her it’s just that I don’t think I fit in very well (Welcome to the start of my continuing paranoia!)
Saturday 7th March
Next weekend I’m getting a female guineapig (Are you kidding me, Truffle’s not even dead yet and you’re replacing him!) to go in with Truffle (What!?!? That’s even worse!!) I paid in £10 to my Post Office account. I haven’t got my book (FFS)
Sunday 8th March
Wrote a poem called ‘The Brook’. Mum said it was really good.
Monday 9th March
Truffle has got a bad cold (Who knew guineapigs got colds!?!) but now seems to be getting better. A whole group including Kim and Arabella are watching My Girl (Only my fave teen movie of all time). They didn’t invite me! (The bastards)
Tuesday 10th March
Truffle died today (Wow that was a bad cold!) Now all his family have gone. On Friday we’re getting a video at long last (Proper high tech). Arabella’s being really bitchy and being really nice to Kim.
Wednesday 11th March
Had PE today and I really ache because we had Netball and Dance (Oh you poor poppet, try running a half marathon!) Kim said that Arabella reckons I don’t like her and she’s really worried about it.
Thursday 12th March
Mrs Collins, French teacher, actually knows my name! (Ummm yeah she bloody should do, she’s your teacher….) Arabella really bullies Mary and I think it’s a bit tight, but there’s nothing I can do about it.
Friday 13th March
Kim’s gone and borrowed another book (Why the fuck would you let that happen, you idiot!) and I know it’s gonna come back in really bad condition. The trouble is I don’t know how to say no. (No)
Saturday 14th March
I got 2 guineapigs called Chestnut and Hazel, they are really cute (Jeez it’s like some kind of weird guineapig factory) We watched Ghost and Nightmare on Elm Street (This is really interesting as we’ve recently been talking about what age we were when we watched films like this, my son is desperate to watch Nightmare on Elm Street and considering how lame the effects will look now he’s probably good to go!)
Sunday 15th March
I held the 2 guineapigs, I hope the others aren’t jealous (Get a life!)
Monday 16th March
I’ve got another cold surprise, surprise (Probs caught it off the guineapigs) We didn’t have to do our presentation in I.S. today, but are doing it on Wednesday and Friday.
Tuesday 17th March
I’m worried sick. Claudia has turned suicidal. She said she hated life. She dug at a cut with a compass, chucked white spirit on her legs, and asked to be slapped. (Woah, where did this come from and how does a youngster even begin to handle this!)
Wednesday 18th March
Claudia has really changed. I told Sheila about what she had done and Claudia had a go at me, but at the end of the day she was getting back to being her old self.
Thursday 19th March
Mary was crying today because she felt left out and she said that I spend half my life in Chippenham. I really hate her sometimes. Posh little… sorry I won’t swear. (How considerate of me!)
Friday 20th March
I feel depressed. Everyone tells me their problems, so I don’t feel that I can trust them with mine. Everyone has boyfriends and are mooning over them. (Don’t worry lovely, your time will come, and let’s face it boys at that age really ain’t worth the hassle)
Saturday 21st March
Today we watched Robin Hood Prince of Thieves and Christian Slater’s in it. He is so lush. I think Elspeth thinks so too.
Sunday 22nd March
I watched Home Alone twice (It’s good, but twice, in one go… bored then?) It’s brilliant and really funny.
Monday 23rd March
Claudia came over today and we put make up on our faces (Well yeah that’s usually where you’d put it) Claudia’s was good until she put some blusher on and then it went all smudgy. I looked like a doll (I’m still crap at putting make up on)
Tuesday 24th March
Mary’s wrote things about me when we weren’t friends and Claudia, Timothy and her were laughing about it. I wasn’t allowed to see, which I thought was tight.
Wednesday 25th March
Had Netball today and won 11-2. I was GA and Betty was GS. She kept shooting and they went in. She was so full of herself (Ha like you wouldn’t have been!) She’ll want to be Shooter all of the time now.
Thursday 26th March
Went over to Claudia’s house today. She dressed up in her swimming costume and put make up on. She’s got hairy armpits, well not that hairy. She looked quite pretty.
Friday 27th March
Willow’s inside ill (Guineapig troubles again) All the fur around his eye has gone and he’s got sore feet. I thought Mary might call round with Tilly, her dog, but luckily she didn’t. I like it at home (Careful what you wish for!)
Saturday 28th March
I’ve bought Mum some dried flowers in a basket for Mother’s Day. We watched Highlander 2, it was boring. The clocks go forward.
Sunday 29th March
Mum liked her present (What’s not to like about a basket of dried flowers!)
Monday 30th March
Arabella’s going to write to a seventeen year old boy from my Wild About Animals magazine for a joke (sounds hilarious) She put in all these tempting things. It’s so funny, hope it works.
Tuesday 31st March
Had PE today and I hurt the top of my leg so had to miss the rest of Gym, which I thought was a bit of a bummer.
Wednesday 1st April
I made a choc gateau and it turned out really good. Got my profile and I got good on all subjects. It’s been a good day.
Thursday 2nd April
Mum’s birthday. Mary’s birthday. I gave Mum some hankies and ear rings. Mary I gave some rubbers and a stationery hedgehog (I think we all know who got the better deal)
Friday 3rd April
On Sunday Claudia is coming over while Mum, Dad, and A are at football. We’re going to watch Nightmare on Elm Street. I’ve seen it already, but I don’t mind.
Saturday 4th April
A found you so I have to hide you. Luckily he only read up to where Hammie died. I’m lucky that my secrets are still secrets (Well, until now……)
Sunday 5th April
Put guineapigs on lawn. Claudia came over.
Monday 6th April
Arabella wasn’t at school today so Mary was being really chummy to me and asked if she could sit next to me when Arabella’s gone. It shows she wants Arabella to go.
And that my lovelies, is that. I have no idea why I stopped writing in it after this point. Maybe it was the threat of my brother finding it again, or maybe I just got bored, who knows. Not the most exciting way to end I know, but as we all know there were 3 more years worth of teenage diary to follow, and this was merely the beginning.
I really hope you’ve enjoyed going on these teenage diary journeys with me.
*all names in my teenage diary have been changed to protect the not so innocent.
Love this? Then why not have a read of my 1993, 1994, and 1995 teenage diary!
Becky Stafferton is a full time blogger over on her website The Art of Healthy Living, mum of 2 and certified Queen of the hashtags. She continually strives to promote a realistic, sustainable and positive image of how to lead a healthy life. When she’s not writing or reading her teenage diary she can be found swigging Prosecco from the bottle, running through muddy puddles, making lists of lists, having a good old moan, scoffing flapjacks and squatting like her life depends on it.
She can be found on:
Facebook – @thisishealthyliving
Twitter – @ArtHealthLiving
Instagram – @arthealthyliving