When you can’t reply on boys, there’s always Take That to fall back on. This week’s teenage diary is angst ridden and a teensy bit heartbreaking, I just wanna give my teenage self a massive cuddle and tell her everything will be alright. You are good enough, always have been, always will be!
Saturday 17th September
I left Sheila’s about 8.30 this morning and I had to wake her up to tell her I was going. I can’t believe some of the things I said and did last night, it’s going to be so embarrassing facing everyone at school, especially Mary who turned up late with Denise. I can’t believe they all saw me like that. Percy will be the worst to face. I wouldn’t blame him if he hated me. I’ll have to apologise. Mind you Raymond won’t be that easy to face either because when I was drunk yesterday, I think he was too, he said, “Do you want a kiss Rebecca?” and of course I was too pissed to say no. He’d been smoking too.
Sunday 18th September
Today was so awkward, but I guess it softened the blow for tomorrow. I phoned Sheila this morning, but she couldn’t come out because her aunt was there. She sounded like she was in a mood with me. Anyway that made me really depressed, but at about 3pm she called round with Percy, Raymond and Timothy. It was so bad, I couldn’t look anyone in the face. Sheila seemed really hostile so I asked her whether she was in a mood with me and it turned out she thought I was in a mood with her. So everything’s alright with her now I think. Facing Percy was the worst, it took me ages to speak to him and then I was very quiet and didn’t say a lot.
Monday 19th September
I’m so depressed now than I’ve ever been in my whole entire life. The only people talking to me properly are Mary, Wilfred and Timothy. I guess Claudia and Sheila are talking to me, but I don’t know. I feel like I should apologise to Sheila, but in reality I can’t see what I’ve done to her. The only person I feel guilty about is Percy, but the thing is I don’t think all his friends are talking to me either. I’m really worried about Sheila though. This may sound really selfish but if any of them were my real friends they’d want to understand how I was feeling, but right now the only one I can trust is myself.
Tuesday 20th September
I’ve been just as depressed today as well. I’m just completely fed up of talking about it. What bugs me the most is that it’s none of their business. Timothy’s going to have a party on Saturday and I’ve been invited, but I’m not going to go, after all, like I’ve said to Sheila, if you asked everyone no one would particularly want me there. I suppose I’ve been talking to Sheila more today, but to be quite honest it seems like she’d rather be hanging around with Claudia and if that’s what she wants I shouldn’t be the one to stop her. Maybe it’ll give me time to concentrate on my school work, but being in the state of mind that I’m in at the moment it’s hard to get anything done. I wish I could turn back time.
Wednesday 21st September
It’s ages since I wrote so it’s really hard trying to remember what happened. It was probably another really shit day where I got pestered about the party, which is now almost a week ago, so I wish people would forget about it because what’s done is done. I can’t believe the Take That concert is this Friday. The thing is I’ve gone off them completely to tell you the truth. If suddenly for some reason I couldn’t go to the concert I don’t think I’d be too disappointed. It’s just that now that they have had their hair cut differently they’re not so good looking. I prefer Damon from Blur.
Thursday 22nd September
That party that Timothy was having is now being held on Friday so I couldn’t go even if I’d have wanted to. I found out today from Sheila that Tommy was spreading rumours about me on the night of the party. So I guess it was him that told Cuthbert Gilbert. I won’t say anything to him just in case the rumours he was spreading were true. Percy was going to the party and so is Denise. If he gets off with her I’ll be so gutted and if Petunia even dares touch him I’ll kill myself. I’m not obsessed or anything, but I really thought he liked me. I mean all the signs were there. He even got off with me.
Friday 23rd September
I won’t write about the concert here, but let’s just say I adore them again. They’re the best and I can rely on them much more than I can any boy I know. Went into Redditch town centre and I wanted to buy some clothes but there was nothing that really took my eye. So I bought two really posh bras, one of which cost £8.99 but it’s completely lush. I bought a black and white checked scrunchie and two chart singles. Delilah who came with us bought boots that were on sale for £9.99 and they were well smart.
*names have been changed to protect the not so innocent
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You can read September here – https://artofhealthyliving.com/a-month-in-the-life-of-teenage-me-september-1993-teenage-diary/
Becky Stafferton is a full time blogger over on her website The Art of Healthy Living, mum of 2 and certified Queen of the hashtags. She continually strives to promote a realistic, sustainable and positive image of how to lead a healthy life. When she’s not writing she can be found swigging Prosecco from the bottle, running through muddy puddles, making lists of lists, having a good old moan, scoffing flapjacks and squatting like her life depends on it.
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